Resolutions

I had big, grandiose plans about writing my own personal manifesto for 2010 on here, but then two things occurred to me:

1. Those types of things don't usually come together in the way they should, usually due to forces outside of your control, and
2. No one would really give a shit except me. And even then, I'd probably groan at myself and disown the entry for being so pretentious.

So, I thought maybe I'd stick with the old chestnut of New Year's Resolutions and see where that leads. I did OK with them last year, as it goes - the first time in years I actually made any - and they didn't wear off with the New Year's Day Hangover, which surprised me, so I think it's time to make them again. I already know what they're going to be (I'm writing this post at the tail end of December 2009, ready to schedule), because I'm going to stick with the same ones as last year:

• Be more disciplined - I've realised that over the last few months - especially the run up to Christmas - I've been all over the place, procrastinating like a motherfucker and making to-do lists that seem to get longer and longer. I've come up with new and amazing ways to, basically, not write.

• Be more honest - by this I mean be more honest with myself. I tried it last year and it worked wonders for me. Yes, it took me down some dark and uncomfortable paths, but it made me wake up to things and look at the world differently; I managed to sort through some emotional baggage, deal with some hang ups and generally sort little bits of myself out. And, perhaps more importantly, it helped me become more focused on what I want out of life.

2010 is going to be a make or break year for me. I've worked hard over 2009 to get where I want to be, and it's finally starting to pay off. I just need to keep it going and hopefully take the next step. Of course, it could all go tits up before the end of January (and knowing my luck, it probably will), but maybe - just maybe - it might all work out fine...

"There I stood, homeless with my Prada case"

As a rule, I tend not to get political or point out the utter crapness of the media on this blog; I'll leave that sort of thing to the rather bloody good Enemies Of Reason, but I followed a Twitter link earlier today and came across a "story" by Liz Jones, which, well, just take a look at the headline and see for yourself:


That should tell you all you need to know right there, really. You can go and read the story yourself if you want, but I'll save you the bother: Jones, a middle class "journalist" who has shitloads of cash and no idea how much of it she spends or even care, goes to a posh hotel, has her credit cards declined, can't get any money from a cash machine, so calls her agent to come and bail her out. And in those brief moments when she's forced to stand outside the hotel - a cheap one, where they have valet parking and clean her BMW - she realises what it must be like to be homeless, which is strange, because when I read her article, I had a sudden realisation into what it must be like to be a boring fucking hack with absolutely no grasp of what life is actually all about.

On a completely different level, though, that article is, well, a complete waste of time. It's not really an opinion piece and it's not really investigative journalism, either (unless investigative journalism consists of bragging about how much money you have); It is, however, a pointless waste of time and effort for all parties concerned. It's actually shocking that The Daily Mail would actually pay money for something that's so mind numbingly pointless - yes, you can say that about all of the Mail's content, but, as a whole, it serves a purpose: it gives us something to hate. This article doesn't even do that. It's nothing more than a piece of low grade filler that's taking up valuable space on the Internet; it's a blog post about not being treated with the respect your class apparently deserves, that's somehow been passed off as an insightful article about...something.

Jones is nothing more than a professional troll who, frankly, doesn't deserve the amount of time I've spent actually writing this post, so I won't be saying anything more about this. I do urge you to go and check out Anton Vowl's brilliant piece about people like Jones: The prolls creak into life.

What I did on Christmas Morning...

I watched shed loads of this:

Ringing Of The Bells

It's Christmas Eve, so here's a little something to get you all into the festive spirit...

Arnold Stang, RIP

I was shocked to learn of the death of Arnold Stang earlier today - or, as he was better known:

The state of play...

It's been a funny few weeks for me, it has to be said.

Apart from increasingly erratic sleep patterns, I've had some weird and wonderful opportunities dropped into my lap that took me totally by surprise, and, somehow, I've actually managed to get my next full length project after Babble lined up.

The only problem is, I can't actually talk about any of it... Which is going to make this blog post pretty redundant, really. So... As Christmas comes limping along for another year, I thought I'd post something about where you can find my inane scribblings...

FutureQuake

At the moment, I've got two scripts sitting with FutureQuake, ready for publication once an artist is on board and they can find a slot in an issue. If you're so inclined, you can go and check out my past FQ efforts on the FutureQuake website (I was in #7, 8 and 9, in case you were wondering).

Something Wicked

Myself and Caroline Parkinson have a piece called Key To The Kingdom doing the rounds in the latest issue of the FQ Press horror anthology Something Wicked.

Something Wicked #5 is 48 pages of tales designed to chill you to the bone, all for the meagre price of £3.50 - and it has a cover (pictured) by the ridiculously talented Vicky Stonebridge!

Again, you can check out some of past Something Wicked published pieces on the FutureQuake website (I was in #2 and appeared twice in #4).

Zarjaz

As I've already mentioned, Zarjaz are doing a special ABC Warriors issue, due for release in 2011, and I've managed to blag my way into it with a strip called Tin Man. Chris Askham is on-board for the artwork, and I'm assured by Zarjaz editor Bolt-01 that they've got something really cool lined up for the issue. He wouldn't tell me what, though, so if you want to know, go and bug him.

Also, I've got a piece in an upcoming issue of Zarjaz with Brett Buckle. No idea when that's set to appear, though, or what the progress is like.

Dogbreath

Also still available from FQ Press is Dogbreath #20, which features a strip from myself and Lonny Chant.

You can buy all of the above mentioned anthologies - and get all the latest news, updates and previews - from the main FutureQuake website or the FutureQuake Press blog.

Accent UK

Due out in 2010 from Accent UK will be their latest anthology, Predators. As ever, the quality remains ridiculously high with some of the finest yet-to-be-discovered talents and indie creators in the comics world. And me.

I've teamed up with Bryan Coyle again for a strip called Just Like You, a wee preview of which is right here under these here words:

Unfortunately, it's looking like Predators will be delayed until around the middle of next year. For the time being, though, here's the cover so you know what to look for:

Also, I've somehow managed to blag my way into Accent UK's 2011 anthology Victoriana, too, with a blood curdling tale of horror. The script's written and in, and I'm still trying to get my first choice of artist on board. For now, though, here's the cover for that, too:

I've also managed to secure a place in Accent UK's special anthology due out sometime between Predators and Victoriana, but I can't say anything more about that yet, other than it features the return of one of my favourite characters that I've co-created. If I have my way, you'll see more of him in the future, too.

Rememebr, Accent UK's Robots and Western are still available to buy. Details can be seen over on the right of your screen.

Babble

Over at t Insomnia Publications blog, The Red Eye, a selection box of images from their various projects in production is up and ready to view - including the latest promo piece for Babble:

If you're wondering who the girl in the image is, go and check out her Secret Origin.

I'm pleased to announce, too, that the first chapter is almost in the bag and the preview should be up early in the new year. I'm roughly halfway through the scripting stage now, so everything's on course.

Remember, if you want to check out the progress and maybe see some behind the scenes malarky, be sure and check out the website: www.babblecomic.com.

And Next...?

Well, that's where things get awkward... Like I said at the top of this post, I've got my next full length project after Babble lined up, but I can't say anything about it yet. What I can say is that it's something a bit different for me and it's proving to be a good challenge to write, and a great way to push my storytelling skills. I've got around a quarter of the script written and I've had some positive reactions on that wee chunk. Hopefully, I can spill the beans early in the new year.

I'm also working on a pitch for a new project, too, and I've got another one brewing, but that's all I can say about those. There's a good chance neither of them may be picked up, so I'm not going to say anything more at this stage. Needless to say, if it comes together, this blog will be full of me whooping and cheering.

And after that? Well, who knows...

Kinkaku-ji in a box...

Words fail me when it comes to this video...

The Buddhist temple of Kinkaku-ji was originally built in 1397. In 2009, talapz re-built Kinkaku-ji in a box. That pops out. With LEGO. 4,500 pieces of it.

"Wor Joe!"

So, we all know that there's a Facebook campaign to get Rage Against The Machine's Killing In The Name Of to Christmas number 1 ahead of whatever bilge that X-Factor pumps out. And, of course, Simon Cowell has called this campaign cynical and stupid, insisting that having a number 1 single doesn't mean anything to him. Except, presumably, the piles of cash he'll make from it.

The main arguments against the campaign seem to consist of nothing but name calling and saying that Joe McEldry deserves to have it for no reason other than he's 18. And won a karaoke contest.

Personally, I'm not a fan of Rage Against The Machine (although their cover of Renegades Of Funk ranks up there as one of my all time favourite covers), but I'm not a fan of the trite load of bollocks that Cowell and X-Factor continue to spew out in a rather cynical way each and every Christmas, either. They've done this for the last few years, remember. In fact I genuinely can't remember a recent Christmas where an X-Factor winner wasn't number 1. This feels like we're returning to some semblance of real musical democracy, not the media fuelled dictatorship of Cowell and his people. It feels like we have a choice now, rather than the "buy it or don't" attitude of the last few years.

Hey, a lot of people like X-Factor, and more power to them, but for those of us who don't, it's practically impossible to avoid it, seeing as it's mentioned on every ITV channel (and other non-ITV ones), splashed across every newspaper, magazine cover and radio station. The only way to avoid it completely is go and live in a cave for the duration. No matter what Simon Cowell says, it's not helping the music industry, it's actively destroying it, and making him a lot of money in the process.

Believe it or not, though, I do agree with Cowell on the RATM campaign being cynical, but it's no more cynical than what he does every year with X-Factor, and the way they manufacture wannabe popstars to fit that same template year after year. The campaign is really a protest vote against Simon Cowell's monopoly - a cynical one, but it's clearly the only language he understands, the only way that will get a message through to him that not everyone wants to hear some wanky ballad or awful cover with all the life and passion drained out of it.

So, yes, go and support the campaign, but go one step further and donate something to Shelter when you download it by going here: http://www.justgiving.com/ratm4xmas. Make it known you don't want any more bilge at Christmas number 1 and do something worthwhile while you're at it.

"Paul Cornell is SO rude!"

Yesterday, Doctor Who luminary and Marvel Comics star Paul Cornell decided to answer every tweet he recieved to his Twitter account. All was well and good until someone decided to tell him that he'd like to work with him and asked him to read some of his stuff. Cornell gave what I think is the only response you can give to someone who asks you a question like that: "Why would I do that?" The Tweeter in question got arsey and stomped off in a huff, and that was that until everyone rounded on him and started a brief meme that inspired the title of this blog post. It also raised some valid points about the nature of this funny book business (and indeed the nature of writing in general), and one in particular stood out: attitude.

The Tweeter claimed that he was 'good', that he saw Cornell as his peer and then bitched that Cornell was privileged. This got me thinking about a few things that that have always been bees in my bonnet when it comes to this kind of thing.

Let me say right now that I'm not completely innocent when it comes to this kind of thing. I've had my fair share of run ins with editors and professionals, but I've learned from each encounter. Yes, it's immensely frustrating to see inferior writers getting good gigs, and it's also equally infuriating trying to catch a break and get editors to sit up and notice you, but you have to take most of it on the chin and get on with it. Yes, some editors can be arsey with you, but that's the nature of the game; you have to roll with it and remember that they're trying to do their jobs.

First off, telling someone you're good is a waste of time: you have to prove it. You have to be able to show to editors that you can actually do more than string a sentence together; you have to prove that you can actually write.

I've lost track of the times I've met people who claim to be writers, but can't write for toffee (they're also usually arrogant and have their heads up their own arse - an arrogance born out of ignorance, as someone put it); I've also lost track of the times I've met other struggling writers and watched them lose interest in me as soon as I mention that I've got a graphic novel deal and had work published before that. So, if that Tweeter thinks that Cornell is privileged because he's worked hard at his craft and is now reaping the benefits, then I guess, by that definition, I'm privileged, too.

If the truth be told, I've been working at this writing lark for a lot longer than people think. I've been around the block with it a few times on the submission trail and let my ego take a good solid kicking in process; mix that with my background and my constant feeling of not fitting in, and I think I'm pretty fucking grounded compared to a lot of people in my situation. I genuinely don't approach editors or publishers with a submission that I think is clearly The Greatest Thing Ever and that they'd be fools if they don't bite my hand off for it. In fact, just about every submission I've sent to FutureQuake has a self-deprecating remark in the e-mail (FQ editor extraordinaire Bolt-01 actually queried that on my last submission, and pointed out that I've had a pretty solid hit rate with them, so why did I still do it?). The truth of it is, if you ask me to my face if I think I'm a good writer, I'll tell you, honestly, that I think I'm OK, but I've still got a long way to go.

Would I refer to Cornell as my peer? No, I wouldn't, but I wouldn't call the Tweeter in question my peer either, no matter how much he would disagree. I wouldn't class myself as an artist, either, unlike our Tweeter. I'm nothing but a simple working class lad that can sometimes put sentences together in a pleasing manner.

I've taken the first small steps into a different world and I'm still finding my way around it, so the only people I'd call my peers at the minute would be the people I've been fortunate enough to work with. I've learned a lot from each and every one of them, and I hope that it's going toward making me a better writer. It truly has been an invaluable experience, and one that I think the Tweeter - and a lot of other people starting out - could do with sharing. But whether they'll be able to reign in their egos and actually go for it is another matter entirely.

One thing that yesterday's little flaming has taught me, though, is that you shouldn't use such a public platform as Twitter to make a complete arse of yourself. Such things should really be done in private...

I'm Zarjaz!

Yeah, OK, so that post title might be a bit misleading, seeing as I'm not all that Zarjaz. Well, not all the time. Just sometimes. When I can be arsed. Maybe.

Anyway, the 2000AD fanzine Zarjaz is putting together an ABC Warriors special to celebrate the release of the Firestep/Rebellion animation, and somehow, I've managed to blag my way into that very issue...

It's not that well known a fact (and why it would be, I don't know) that quite a few years back, I set up Spread The Word, a website dedicated to the ABC Warriors. I originally put the site together because I was learning HTML and I wanted something practical to play around with and see how it all worked, but as I got more and more into it, my love of the characters grew. Personally, I regard Black Hole as one of the greatest series that 2000AD has ever produced and the ABC Warriors finest hour (although a few people disagree with me).

So, getting the chance to actually write something with the ABC Warriors in it - featuring one of my two favourite characters from the series, no less! - is something that I am genuinely over the moon about.

The story is called Tin Man, and Chris Askham is the artist that I'll be working with on it. The only problem is that the issue isn't due until 2011. However, I'm assured by Zarjaz editor Bolt-01 that the whole thing is going to be something very cool...

Sweet Jesus Preacher Man

No reason for sharing this, other than I think it might well be one of the coolest movie posters I've ever seen...

End Of An Era...

So, today and tomorrow are the last days of Teletext as it closes its doors forever. Some of its services will continue on the web, but the days of getting those pages on your TV set are soon to be over, 30+ years since they first started.

I remember first discovering Teletext and how quickly it became a part of my daily routine. Before heading out to work, I'd switch the TV on, have some breakfast and read some pages - usually Planet Sound and Digitiser/Game Central. I became a fan of their honest, balanced reviews, and I loved the way that they didn't buy into the hype surrounding The New Game or The Next Big Band. It felt like old school journalism, where the facts were reported rather than just regurgitating the press releases. You never felt like the people writing these stories were going out of their way to point out how cool they were because they were interviewing Blur or playing the latest Mario game before you. These pages were written by people who had a genuine love and affection for the stuff they were reviewing, and it's something that I'll miss. Yes, I could go and find reviews on the Internet, but they won't have that feel of true independence that Teletext had. And, more importantly for me, they'll never be part of my morning routine.

So, goodbye Teletext. You will be missed.

The Daily Mail through history...

"It's like eating crunchy air!"

Oh, Brian, I think I actually love you more after seeing this...

Sleepless In Seattle: Re-Cut...

...as a horror thriller...

Why you should never show off...

Steven Seagal: Lawman

Thanks to Bryan Coyle, I have just found my new must see show...