So, the new year's here, and we can all say goodbye to 2008, but I feel myself entering 2009 with some trepidation.
A lot of things happened to me during the latter months of 2008 (got a new day job, for one, faced up to a few home truths, for another), but the thing that sticks with me most is how many people I seemed to have pissed off by just trying to be myself rather than the person they've come to expect me to be.
More than anything, it's made me realise that - as pretentious as this sounds - no one really knows me that well. I admit, I tend to keep people at a distance (a lifetime of having people let you down and having your heart broken will do that to a person, I think), and I'm not the most approachable of people at the best of times, but it's always surprising how few people will make the effort to try and get to know me a little better. I know that we, as a society, have moved toward accepting everything and everyone at their face value, because it's so much easier than putting effort in to get to know that thing or person better. I've done that myself - I do do it myself - it's part and parcel of being human. But when it's people you've known for years, or members of your own family, it becomes a whole different thing. In fact, it's almost downright depressing.
Let me get this straight: this is not me winging about people and how crap they are. Everyone knows that, and there's millions of other blogs out there telling you this already. All I'm saying is that I seem to have people in my life that have me pegged as something and someone I'm not, and I'm getting fed up with it. All I want to do is focus on what's actually important to me, not what other people think should be important to me, and, sometimes, the people in my life seem to have a problem with that.
So, I think 2009 - or the first couple of months of it, at least - are going to largely consist of me pissing people off because I'm just being myself again, and doing the things I want to do rather than what everyone expects me to do.
And if you happen to be one of those people I piss off, then, hey, that's just the way it is.
A lot of things happened to me during the latter months of 2008 (got a new day job, for one, faced up to a few home truths, for another), but the thing that sticks with me most is how many people I seemed to have pissed off by just trying to be myself rather than the person they've come to expect me to be.
More than anything, it's made me realise that - as pretentious as this sounds - no one really knows me that well. I admit, I tend to keep people at a distance (a lifetime of having people let you down and having your heart broken will do that to a person, I think), and I'm not the most approachable of people at the best of times, but it's always surprising how few people will make the effort to try and get to know me a little better. I know that we, as a society, have moved toward accepting everything and everyone at their face value, because it's so much easier than putting effort in to get to know that thing or person better. I've done that myself - I do do it myself - it's part and parcel of being human. But when it's people you've known for years, or members of your own family, it becomes a whole different thing. In fact, it's almost downright depressing.
Let me get this straight: this is not me winging about people and how crap they are. Everyone knows that, and there's millions of other blogs out there telling you this already. All I'm saying is that I seem to have people in my life that have me pegged as something and someone I'm not, and I'm getting fed up with it. All I want to do is focus on what's actually important to me, not what other people think should be important to me, and, sometimes, the people in my life seem to have a problem with that.
So, I think 2009 - or the first couple of months of it, at least - are going to largely consist of me pissing people off because I'm just being myself again, and doing the things I want to do rather than what everyone expects me to do.
And if you happen to be one of those people I piss off, then, hey, that's just the way it is.
Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009...
![Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009...]()
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