Officially Gutted

You'd think rejections would get easier as time goes on.

I managed to make a semi-successful pitch to Abaddon Books for a new line of novels they're publishing next year. They liked my [second] pitch enough to actually ask me for a sample chapter and a chapter breakdown - which absolutely floored me - but that was as far as it got. I received the rejection e-mail yesterday.

It's pretty crushing coming so close and then losing out like that (I mean, I'd like to think that I came close to actually getting the gig, but for all I know, it might've been immediately laughed into the rejection pile), and, at the minute, I feel more depressed than I have in a long time.

Yeah, I can remind myself that it was only a 'work for hire' novel and I should be concentrating on things that would give me more 'credibility' as a writer (like my own novel, using my own characters and settings), but the truth of it is, I really got into the character and the storyline I had worked out; I even had a mini-manifesto worked out about what I wanted to do with it, moving it away from the bog-standard po-faced fantasy nonsense and actually make it fun.

More importantly, though, I was hoping this could lead to something...better. I could finally justify calling myself a 'writer', and I would actually get paid for it.

Of course there'll be more opportunities, and there's bound to be loads that I can actually go out and make for myself, but at the minute I feel like I've been treading water for so long and not getting anywhere.

You can read the pitch here.


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