"Rooney looks like he's been called in for his tea!"



Well, the World Cups taken over the world again, and, as usual, the tabloids have rolled out the same old xenophobic commentary and taken it upon themselves to choose Englands team and remind us all that they won the thing in 1966, just in case anyone had forgotten.

Frankly, after watching all of England's games so far, I think a Fleet Street hack could probably whip the squad into a more interesting side than Sven seems capable of doing. Then again, they'd probably just choose Wayne Rooney and expect him to win the entire tournament single-handedly, because, of course, he is The Second Coming, after all. In between goals, he can whip over to the wives and girlfriends and turn their water into wine, and then feed the entire stadium with some loaves and fishes.

Yes, theres been some absolutely blinding goals from the English team, and they're into quarter finals (following another piss-poor peformance), but they've struggled.

You could argue that the team is just crap (which they are), but you could also argue that the teams theyve played have been better than ever. I mean, lets face it: on paper, England vs Paraguay and England vs Trinidad & Tobago shouldve been a walk over. Theyre just little teams that England shouldve stepped on and thought no more about.

But, lets not forget, these two teams actually qualified to play in the World Cup. They fought their way through some of the toughest teams in the world to get into the tournament - of course theyre going to give England or any team a fight. In fact, you can mark this World Cup down as one where the giants weren't killed, but given a bit of a scare.

Obviously that won't stop the media defending England's performance to the hilt and finding something to blame their lack of quality on. We've already had the weather, access to water on the pitch and the referees, so we can assume that next it'll be a sparrow that looked a bit funny at Crouch, or the lack of jewel encrusted toilet paper in Beckham's hotel room. It would, of course, be unthinkable to blame anything like Sven's complete lack of managerial skills, or the way the squad seem to lack the ability to play as a team.

Of course, thats unpatriotic talk. England are the best, and they deserve to be just given the cup because theyre England, and they won it in 1966.

In case anyone forgot.

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